The priest's statue
by Yui Miyamoto
Summary: Fuuma knew Subaru’s name because of his brother Seishirou, but who exactly is Subaru anyway? Note: shounen ai


**fandom: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle  
title: The priest's statue.  
pairing: Kamui + Subaru, Seishirou + Subaru  
rating: pg-13  
description – Fuuma knew Subaru's name because of his brother Seishirou, but who exactly is Subaru anyway?**

**Disclaimer – Tsubasa belongs to Clamp. I only got interested because my X boys were here. ^___________^**

"Why are you not mad at him for making you his emono?"

"Because he didn't lie to me. You have told me yourself that was his real name."

**The priest's statue.**

**By miyamoto yui**

"Kamui, I have asked you to please give me some time with him."

There is no movement.

His tone is gentle and polite. He gives his twin brother a light nod of the head to urge him to go. "Now, please leave."

The one called Kamui has an angered, perturbed expression on his face. Even though his mouth is closed, it looks like he's biting the skin between his lower lip and chin. His violet eyes dart themselves at the person standing next to Subaru at the window.

Clearly, he protests that he won't leave them alone.

Subaru, though patient by nature, is now showing a slight change in expression. He gives Kamui an entreating look but keeps his mind clear. His usual quietness gives way to something like water being warmed up on the stove: Silent, yet becoming more agitated.

"Excuse me then."

Holding out his arm out to block his guest, Subaru shakes his head and tells Kamui, "You are free to listen but you cannot tell him to leave because he asked me a question that I feel he needs to know the answer to."

Angry, Kamui retorts, "Why should you answer this? What if-"

"Kamui. I have listened to all you have had to say. Please, once more, for the second time, let me be selfish." Subaru looks away from his brother, as if not wanting to face himself and his eyes gaze at the person he blocked from leaving. His tone, unchanged of its softness, says with a powerful yearning, "I want to know why Fuuma knows my name."

Taken aback at showing his weakness so blatantly, Kamui's eyes slightly open wide and his heart beats wildly in confusion. However, his body is pure ice. Somehow, against _**that**_ person, he has to step aside for Subaru's sake. Again.

For Subaru's heart to breathe without him.

With this, Subaru put down his arm and Kamui walks over to take his twin's right hand. Eyeing Fuuma as if wanting to scald his skin, he bends down his head while pulling up Subaru's hand. Kissing the palm, he presses his lips to its center.

Then, pushing his way between them, he shoves his shoulder onto Fuuma's and steps out of the office that was made into their room.

"Please forgive him. He only knows what I've told him." Subaru puts his hand Fuuma's left shoulder as if he can heal it with such a tender touch.

Fuuma is instantly perplexed as to why the twins are so different from one another. And why does his brother care so much about this particular one before him? The one that's opening the metal window of this office room as if it were a palace.

His manner is so elegant even when pushes out the two pieces of rectangular glass to each side so that the breeze can come in along with the moonlight.

Fuuma comes over to lean his back on the wall with his arms crossed, parallel to Subaru who is holding onto the rim of the window with both of his hands and looking out into the ruined city. It is a vision that reminds him of his own home, somewhere that he can no longer go back to.

It's been so long that the definite lines in his memory are beginning to fade. But **that** person's face, though everything will leave, that smile remains through it all.

Glancing at Subaru, Fuuma asks without shame, "Why do you trust me unlike Kamui?"

Subaru's lips immediately move to form a smile. Then, it fades in the next second. "You're mistaken. I do not trust you."

His profile stares at Fuuma's and his right eye turns to look at him. "But you have not done anything to hurt Kamui."

_That's why you live. _These are the words Fuuma hears in between the ones that are said.

In these few minutes, Fuuma begins to understand the trait that attracted his brother to Subaru. Behind the Mask of Silence, there was a ruthless, obsessive being that held onto their possessions very, VERY well.

But does Subaru return that attraction? He is not so sure of what is going on nor why it has to exist.

"Your brother is not your blood relative like mine is." Subaru's eyes look down at the decaying building before them as the storm clouds begin to form slowly above them. Soon, they would cover the moon he loves so well.

Fuuma shakes his head. "No, he isn't."

Bringing out his wallet, he hands a picture of a younger Seishirou with a little Fuuma. Someone had taken a picture of the calm, expressionless Seishirou looking down at Fuuma, who was holding out his hands to be carried. "I do not know what happened to my parents, but I remember there was a lot of desert sand. And when I finally gave up begging, my brother was passing by.

"I begged him to take me with him, even pulling at his sleeve because he looked like a priest. He kept on shaking his head, but the tenacity of my grip wouldn't let him go. From that day onwards, I followed.

"Whether or not I enjoyed what was happening, I followed him. Then, one day, he said I was old enough and mentioned your name once to me. Nothing else.

"With that, he left to pursue you."

Listening all the while, Subaru just opens and closes his eyes. It appears as if he isn't breathing. He is so still, one with the absolute stillness that Fuuma has to look over to make sure that he is really there before him.

"So, he did not tell you about me." His gloved his hands hold onto the windowsill, pushing the lines of the steel into his skin. He closes his eyes again and sighs.

But before the moonlight dims, blocked by the clouds, Subaru's teeth show. His eyes twinkle, a bit of life rises from the lifelessness he always seemed to emit through his mute manner, as if voluntarily suffocating the words he wants to let go of.

"You gave him his blood. And he is a Vampire Hunter. Isn't it only natural that he goes after you?" Fuuma's voice betrays the small bit of anger that was hidden all these years over this person named 'Subaru' that had taken his brother from him.

Subaru's smile does not leave his face, even when he pushes his hands away from the window, even when his head lowers with downcast eyes, even when he folds his hands tightly over one another. "I made him, you see."

"Made him?"

The vampire nods slowly. "But the price was worth the wrath of my brother and for Seishirou-san to see only me."

Fuuma becomes more and more bewildered, but he couldn't look away. That gentleness in Subaru at mentioning his brother is very different from all the sides he had revealed about himself until this point. It is the loveliness of having something blossom, a hint of what gives and takes life away is locked inside that smile.

It is why they are still alive, one chasing and the other wanting to be chased while running away.

Even though he wants to know the story more than ever, he now knows it is impossible. It is something like a music box. Let the pretty box play, but don't open it if it isn't yours to hear.

It could hurt you for being too deep-colored.

"What could my brother have possibly done for you?"

He had known his brother too well. His brother never did anything without any advantage to himself. Even when it involved things that made him turn his eyes away from his brother, his brother did it to achieve his goal.

But still…

…even he wondered why he had taken him as his 'brother'?

It is then that Subaru's mouth becomes a straight line but his eyes express an innocent joy that seems like it would have never come from anything else but his brother.

"From so far away, he heard my call."

The clouds start to sprinkle so Subaru closes the window, pressing his hands to click the window shut and Fuuma remains there immobile. He can't believe that they said the same exact thing.

Suddenly, a flash of the face of his brother when he turned to leave came to his mind._** Seishirou lowered his head but his teeth showed.**_

That's why he had taken him as his 'brother'.

That's why…

Fuuma looks at the chain of Subaru's golden watch peeking from his pocket.

…he is chasing after Subaru.

Then, he begins to laugh cheerfully. Subaru turns to walk towards him. Taking his collar into his fingers, he whispers into Fuuma's ear, "If you should ever break our contract by saying what you have heard here, I will destroy you."

Fuuma shakes his head. "I wouldn't ever think of doing such a thing."

"Good."

But when he lets go, Fuuma catches a hold of his wrists and pulls him close to the point that they are touching cheek to cheek. Subaru doesn't pull away and closes his eyes, holding his chin upwards as Fuuma pulls on Subaru's wrists closer towards him until they touched his neck.

Gulping, Subaru can't stop the shameless pounding of his heart.

_I remember this feeling…_

Fuuma tells him in a low tone, "What makes you so sure only my brother wants you?"

Subaru opens his eyes in shock and violently pushes him to the wall. He looks away. After pushing up his glasses, Fuuma walks out of the room, closing the door behind him.

As soon as the door shuts, Subaru's shaking knees fall to the ground.

He weeps out of shame.

Out of want.

Out of missing Seishirou-san.

"What have I done?"

But his eyes, devoid of emotion, do not let out a single tear.

Somehow, he is still happy.

When Kamui comes back into the room, Subaru is composed again. Ever playing the strong yet soundless one for his brother's sake, Subaru's yawn signals that they are going to bed soon.

Kamui doesn't question what happened in the room, even if he is dying to know. With time, if Subaru wants to, he would come to know.

But he knew they were still separate people. Even when Subaru was stuck inside the feather's power, he'd not said anything about that period of time though he had told his brother what had happened on the outside.

Subaru lies on the ground next to Kamui. With a blanket over them, Subaru brushes Kamui's hair. Kamui's eyes stare into Subaru's.

"Get some rest because we will leave tomorrow. I have decided."

Kamui nods obediently and feels Subaru's fingertips grazing softly through his hair.

But when Kamui drifted off to sleep, Subaru's eyes are brimmed with tears. Still, he finds himself smiling, absorbed with Seishirou's memory.

Joy…

At being able to talk about Seishirou with another person.

"_**What are you doing here child?" asked the priest from the courtyard. With his hands over his cane, he smiled and looked at me.**_

_**It was hot and the sun made my clothes stick to my skin. But I proudly held a rag in between my hands.**_

"_**I came because I love that statue over there."**_

"_**Which one?" he asked and I pulled his wrinkly, yet warm hand over to where I'd pointed to. **_

_**It was of a young man who with a long silver necklace. He had smiling eyes. I wanted eyes like that.**_

_**And whenever I cleaned him, I felt like he was real. I even apologized if I bumped next to him.**_

"_**Why this one?"**_

"_**I love…the feeling he gives me." It didn't make sense. It wasn't supposed to.**_

_**The priest said, "You make him sound real. But he once was. He lived a very long time ago and now he is dead. But people remembered him and so they made this for him."**_

"_**But why does he always look so sad?"**_

_**At that moment, the priest patted my head and said, "I've watched over you and your brother since you were born. But I think it is time that you learn to make a wish."**_

"_**For what?"**_

"_**For something that you want only for yourself, something even Kamui cannot touch."**_

"_**I can't share it with him?"**_

"_**No. I'm sorry you can't."**_

"_**I don't want that kind of wish." I began to cry.**_

_**But he implored, "If you wish hard enough…"**_

_**The old priest who was like a grandfather to me looked up to the statue, "…because of your heart, Subaru, you can make life."**_

More tears come out of Subaru and Kamui sleeps soundly as the acid rain scrapes against the window like fingers scratching to make their own entrance.

_He is my sin._

_**One night, I stood there looking at that face that did not age. I looked up to say inside of my heart, **_

"_**I wish you could hear me. I don't want to live here anymore. Everything here is perfect and I have this slight feeling that it shouldn't be this way.**_

_**This is not the life I want to live. None of it feels real.**_

_**I know you can't do anything, but you must have the same 'wish', as the priest said to me. Every time I look at you, it is as if you have the same desire. I have wiped you for years with my cloth so that you'd always be handsome all year long.**_

_**You always felt warm, as if someone were living there with all his feelings and couldn't get up and leave. **_

_**It made me cry because I could see myself in you."**_

_**The next day, Father died. He spat out blood when we were walking by the statue I always took care of. A good chunk landed at its feet. **_

_**I screamed but knew there was no one else except Kamui, who was more honest and wept aloud. We buried Father in the plain behind our house. And the bells of the church rang throughout the whole property, but of course, no one could hear them. But when I went to the statue to clear the stain, it was gone.**_

_**And one day, Seishirou-san showed up…**_

By now, the tears have stopped and he holds Kamui closely. Subaru is shaking. Kamui wakes up and asks him if he is cold and Subaru answers in a small voice, "Yes, very very cold."

Kamui reaches his two arms out and presses his face against Subaru's chest, his lips touching Subaru's heart. Snuggling against him with a childish grin on his face, he falls back asleep.

Subaru is reminded of the days of when they were children…

_**He opened the creaky wooden gate as I was coming out of the front door. I stood there awed by the gravity of that beauty before me.**_

"_**Out of my selfishness, he came to life," I had thought when I first saw him.**_

_**It was then that I felt a slight dimness come over me. It was as if life absorbed itself into my heart and made me the statue he once was.**_

_**It had sucked all of myself away and I was left with my wish, which stood in front of me.**_

_**Breathing and Real.**_

_**I looked at him and was very satisfied.**_

"_**I was told by the old priest that I should come here," the young man said, pushing his glasses up. He wore a white shirt and jeans.**_

"_**Father is dead," I told him gravely.**_

_**He took a deep breath. "Is that so? Then where do I go from here, I wonder…"**_

_**My feet walked towards him. I took his cold hand and pressed my thumbs into his palms. In all honesty, I searched into his eyes. **_

"_**Please stay here. With my brother. **_

_**With me."**_

Subaru looks around sleepily for one last time. He would remember this place for as long as he could.

For as long as it could go inside his memory.

Because his body doesn't age normally, he feels no sense of time. This, above everything else, makes him lonelier than anything else in the world.

Still, he enjoys going from place to place and all the range of emotions he is allowed to feel. He is pleased to meet so many different kinds of people, whether or not they will stay with him.

Whether or not they are cruel or compassionate.

And his wish would forever reach out to remind him

where his heart lay.

**Owari.**

1/31/2009 6:30:19 AM – Los Angeles

1/31/09 11:30 PM - Tokyo


End file.
